Crash & Bleed
by Rynn Abhorsen
Summary: When Faye turns to suicide to end the pain can anyone stop her or is death the only option? F+S (oneshot)


The pain was delicious. It was like alcohol, numbing everything but what you wanted to feel. The knife blade flashed, showing her face, and she stared intently into it. Turning over the dagger, she brought it to her arms. It flashed before the blood spilled onto the floor, making patterns. The precious liquid of her life on the ground. It was beautiful, soaking into her skin to be used again. Propping herself against the bathtub she watched it turn her sleeves crimson. She was soaked in it, how fitting, to let yourself die slowly by watching your life. She let her head drop to her chest as she focused on nothing but the pain. Her mind wandered as her blood dripped to the tile floor. An insistent pounding jerked her out of her numb reverie,  
  
"Faye! Get out I need to use the bathroom."  
  
She tried to stand up as she clenched her arms. She knew the door wasn't locked so she took an uncertain step as the room reeled about her head in a fevered pitch. Spike pounded on the door once more. Faye put one hand to the door; blood running onto the floor, every inch of the ground was covered in it. It began to seep under the door crack as Spike yelled,  
  
"Faye are you okay?" She opened her mouth to answer before falling to the cold, wet floor, and her life sucked down into the shower drain. The pool widened as the cuts and scars reopened and more blood spilled.  
  
"Faye?!" Spike put an ear to the door, listening for any sound. All he heard was a sickening crack, and more of the blood coming in small waves under the door. He backed up, and rammed into the door with his shoulder. It opened without any resistance; he burst in, and looked around. He almost slipped on the slick surface, which was wet with- blood? The entire floor was covered in it, and the warm smell of decaying life nearly made him gag. Even the walls had blood spattered on their white surface. And in the middle of the scene of death, lying with her face turned slightly, and her eyes glazed, was Faye.  
  
Spike knelt at once to her body, and looked her over quickly. In her well- manicured nails, clenched as if letting go would mean death, was a knife, dripping in blood. Spike didn't waste anymore time and called urgently,  
  
"Jet! We need to get to the nearest hospital. Hurry up." A distant why echoed down the hall and Spike yelled,  
  
"Just do it dammit!" He felt the ships creak and turn slightly as he looked back to Faye. Her normally lively eyes moved listlessly and she began to cough as more blood seeped from her cuts. She coughed as her whole body convulsed with them, a blood formed at the corners of her mouth. Her eyes quested over the room once before resting on Spike's worried face. She began to speak, which brought with it more gouts of blood from her mouth,  
  
"Are you an angel? Or are you a devil? I wouldn't be surprised if you were Satan himself, god knows I've done enough to be heading to hell. But I'm okay, I know wherever I go, I will have done what I want and I still have my heart, even if it's dry."  
  
Spike stared as she kept talking,  
  
"I can't even see you but I know you're there so I am going to tell you about the people I'm leaving behind, they're like family to me. There's Ed, she's a hacker. She was annoying at first, but now she's like a little sister. I don't know what I would do without her. She always keeps me from getting too pissed off.  
  
Then there's Ein. He's a data dog, and a welsh corgi. He's really more of a friend to Ed than help, but he's sweet and has to deal with all of us, which must be a pain in the ass.  
  
Jet, the Black Dog. He's sort of a dad, the kind of person who's always asking you how you are, but he cooks like a mom would. I don't know what else to say except I'll miss him."  
  
Her skin went even paler as Spike just stared, as if he couldn't move. She continued as if she didn't notice the pain,  
  
"And Spike. He's always teasing me, being mean, but I know I'm the same. Even though we're the only one's who argue a lot, I like him. Hell, I'm on my way out so I'll say it, I think I could have fallen for him but he's still mourning for Julia. I guess they really loved one another and who am I to break that? I guess I still wonder if it could have been the same for me, but I'll never know will I? Because I'm dying. I'm fading like a wilting flower. But the only reason I'm a flower is because weeds have a greater will to live. Would life be better?"  
  
This notion seemed to upset her, her resolve to die was gone. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes and dripped slowly down to the floor. Spike was out of his stone state; he became a burst of motion as he pulled out a towel and wrapped it around her wrists. She smiled when he got close, and recognition flashed into her emerald eyes. She murmured  
  
"Spike?" his heart wrenched as he stared at Faye who was looking at him, she spoke almost frantically,  
  
"Spike, I'm dying and I know it, so I'm telling you now. I-" she couldn't continue as Spike thought to himself, she said she liked me, I can't just let her die. I have to change this. She kept speaking, grabbing his hand,  
  
"Don't leave me! Please don't-" she trailed off, and Spike whispered softly,  
  
"Don't worry, I won't. And I know what you were going to say." He moved forward and brushed his lips gently against hers. Faye sighed and her body slackened. Spike gathered her to him, as he felt the ship land.  
  
The clean white door of the emergency room seemed to mock the crew of the Bebop. Even Ed could sense that something was amiss, and sat quietly in one of the hard chairs. Jet was staring straight ahead with his brow furrowed, watching Spike pacing back and forth, wearing out the soles of his shoes. He had blood on his shirt, Faye's blood, which he kept picking at. The door opened with a quiet sigh as a doctor exited. Spike spoke, losing his cool for a moment,  
  
"How is she?" The doctor was unperturbed and took off his glasses, polishing them furiously. He spoke with assurance,  
  
"I don't know how she lived. She lay there for fifteen minutes, lost more than half of the blood in her body, and yet she's already awake. They're sewed her up and they'll wheel her down to the recovery room soon." Jet asked,  
  
"Do you have any idea how long she was doing this?" The doctor answered without skipping a beat,  
  
"There were scars on her arms ranging from about a year ago to today. She kept asking for someone, Spike I think-" He didn't have time to answer as Spike was already sprinting down the hall to Faye's room.  
  
The door opened quietly and he walked in. Faye was propped against some pillows, her arms bandaged down their whole length. Spike spoke,  
  
"Hey." Faye blinked once before collapsing into tears, her pale shoulders shuddering with sobs. Spike came and sat beside her, his arms around her as her crying slowly quieted. She stayed leaning against him as she said,  
  
"I was so scared, I wanted so badly to live but I knew I was dying. I kept thinking of a quote from a book: you can try to fix things, you can pray to whatever god you think is listening, but in the end you're just screwing yourself. I was just so scared." Spike whispered into her hair,  
  
"But you're here now, and that's all that matters, we're here now." Faye looked up at him, and he kissed her with everything he could give. She leaned back into the pillows beside him, and whispered to herself,  
  
"We're here now."  
  
A/N: it's done, yay for me. Did it suck? If it did, write it on a piece of paper and shove it up your ass, cause I liked it! 


End file.
